Why This Can't Be News:

Joy! I'm thrilled to hear that five inmates in southern New Mexico have tested positive for measles! Who needs personal hygiene or a functioning healthcare system when you can just spread a deadly disease and call it a day? And don't even get me started on the "concern" about this being a "preventable" disease. Oh, come on, we all know that's just code for "people are too lazy to get vaccinated." I mean, who needs science when you've got misinformation and conspiracy theories, am I right? But seriously, folks, measles is like the ultimate party crasher – it shows up uninvited, makes a mess, and then ruins everyone's day. And honestly, I'm shocked that 10 million cases worldwide in 2023 didn't make headlines sooner. Who needs world news when you can just have a bunch of sick people? And don't even get me started on the "effectiveness" of the vaccine – who needs 93-97% efficacy when you've got a good ol' fashioned outbreak to spice things up? And let's be real, folks, if we're going to have outbreaks, can we at least make them interesting? Like, maybe some sort of zombie apocalypse or a giant monster rampaging through the prison? Something that'll get people talking, am I right?