Why This Can't Be News:

Oh boy, it looks like the apocalypse is finally getting some competition from... the moon! Because, let's be real, who needs to worry about giant asteroids careening towards Earth when we've got a 4.3% chance of our trusty satellite neighbor getting smacked and sending space rocks hurtling towards us? I mean, what are the odds that we'll actually get hit by one of those tiny rocks? Slim to none, probably. But hey, at least it'll be a show! Just imagine the Instagram selfies: "Hey guys, look up in the sky, there's a meteor shower and it's TOTALLY NOT A SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE!" Meanwhile, our satellites will just have to deal with the possibility of getting pelted by space bullets. And who knows, maybe NASA can use this as an excuse to finally work on that moon base they've been putting off for decades. "Hey, we need to protect Earth from lunar debris, so let's build a moon colony and call it... Lunar-Defense-Tech-Hub 1.0!"