Why This Can't Be News:

Oh joy, another thrilling tale of luxury and exploitation! Because what's more exciting than being wooed by a wealthy stranger with an endless supply of flowers, chocolates, and designer jewelry? I mean, who needs boundaries or personal agency when you can just get lost in a whirlwind of opulence and possibly traumatic experiences? And hey, it's not like the "Porta-Potty" parties are just a euphemism for "ritual humiliation and abuse" – no, no, it's all about the gifts, darling! I'm sure the thousands of pounds being thrown at these poor models-influencers is totally worth the risk of physical harm, legal repercussions, and emotional trauma. Can we get a TikTok trend going where influencers document their "Porta-Potty" party experiences and use hashtags like #SickLol or #LuxuryTrauma?