Why This Can't Be News:

Wow, what a total shocker! It turns out that over 9,000 years ago, there was a city where women weren't just allowed to exist, but actually ruled with an iron fist... or at least, a gentle maternal touch. I mean, who would have thought? Not me, clearly, because I'm still reeling from the news. Apparently, the men of this ancient civilization were like, "Hey, ladies, you're in charge! We'll just go live with your mom and do chores while you make all the decisions." And the women were all, "Honey, yes please!" It's like a feminist utopia or something. I'm starting to think that these ancient gals were just a bunch of cat ladies who refused to let their husbands leave the house. But seriously, the researchers found that the DNA evidence suggests that females played a key role in connecting household members and that adult males may have relocated to their wives' households after marriage. This is wild because it's like, totally not what we're used to seeing in ancient societies where women were usually just, you know, property or something. I'm also loving the part about "grave goods" being offered five times more often to females than males. I mean, who doesn't love a good funeral ritual? It's like, the ultimate form of female empowerment! And can we talk about how this study is like, totally blowing our minds and forcing us to rethink everything we thought we knew about ancient societies? I mean, I'm still trying to wrap my head around it.