Why This Can't Be News:

Oh joy, because what we all really needed was a shorter day to make our lives even more chaotic! I mean, who wouldn't want to rush through their morning routines and afternoon commutes at lightning speed? It's not like we're already stressed enough with the pressures of modern life. And can you imagine the poor timekeepers around the world scrambling to adjust their clocks? "Hey, Bob, it's only 23 hours and 59 minutes... no, wait, it's 24 hours! No, actually, it's 23 hours and 58.5 minutes now... just go with it, Bob, I don't have time for this!" And let's not forget the scientists who are "raising alarm bells" because, you know, a 1.30 millisecond difference is literally the end of the world as we know it. I mean, what could possibly be more pressing than the potential disruption to our carefully calibrated coffee breaks? "Oh no, if we don't adjust the timing on our espresso machines, the very fabric of society will unravel!" Priorities, people!