Why This Can't Be News:

Oh no, the horror! The government has actually had the audacity to ban people from setting themselves ablaze in the woods during dry weather. I mean, who needs responsible forest behavior when you can just go ahead and risk your life (and everyone else's) for the sake of a Instagram-worthy selfie? It's not like there are actual rules against arson or anything.

But seriously, folks, it seems some people think they're above the law. Like Julissa Stewart, who's all upset because she can't take her puppy for a walk in the woods without risking a $25,000 fine (which, let's be real, is probably less than the cost of one puppy). She's all like "mobility rights" and "Charter challenge," but I'm pretty sure her puppy's constitutional right to sniff around some trees isn't being violated here.

And don't even get me started on Dalhousie Legal Aid, who's all concerned about people sleeping rough in forested areas. I mean, what a tragedy! Who wouldn't want to sleep under the stars and possibly spontaneously combust due to dry conditions? It's not like there are actual shelters or services available for homeless individuals or anything (oh wait, there are). Let's just blame it on the government and their "extreme overreach" instead.

But in all seriousness, I'm sure the province had a good reason for implementing this ban. You know, something about preventing wildfires and keeping people safe? Yeah, that sounds like a real bummer for all the Instagram influencers out there. Maybe they can just take some selfies by a lake or something instead.