Why This Can't Be News:

Oh, what a coincidence! It seems like all these people who were involved with Jeffrey Epstein's shady dealings just happened to... poof disappear under mysterious circumstances. I mean, it's not like they were silenced by powerful figures or anything (wink, wink). Nope, it's just a series of unfortunate events that all happen to be connected to the same guy. Totally plausible.

I'm sure it has nothing to do with Epstein's alleged honey-trap videos and his connections to deep-state power brokers. And I'm positive none of these individuals were silenced because they knew too much about the dark money trail leading straight back to Epstein's inner circle. Nope, just a big ol' conspiracy theory! rolls eyes

But hey, let's give some credit where it's due – the National Enquirer is really good at sniffing out these kinds of stories. I mean, who else could possibly connect all these dots and figure out that... oh wait, actually, a private investigator did that. Nevermind! coughs Anyway, back to the story: it seems like Ed Opperman (the private investigator) is trying to tell us something, but we're just not listening.

And can someone please explain why Steven Hoffenberg's confession was only shared with the Enquirer? Like, what's the point of having an FBI investigation if you're just going to keep all the juicy details under wraps? I'm sure it has nothing to do with protecting powerful individuals from getting caught with their hands in the cookie jar (or in this case, honey-trap videos). Nope, it's all just a big coincidence! facepalm