Why This Can't Be News:

Wow, who knew the English language was just begging to be infested with nonsensical slang terms and glorified stay-at-home-wife labels? I mean, it's not like we're witnessing a linguistic apocalypse or anything. Nope, just your average Tuesday afternoon when Cambridge Dictionary decides to add 6,000 new words to its collection, including the utterly useless "skibidi" and the delightfully condescending "tradwife". Because, of course, the most pressing issues facing humanity today are memes and social media influencer lingo.

I'm not sure what's more disturbing - the fact that people are actually using these terms or that a reputable dictionary is legitimizing them. I mean, who needs actual intellectual discourse when you can just call someone "delulu" for believing in objective truths? And don't even get me started on the "mouse jiggler", because apparently, we're now acknowledging that pretending to work is an acceptable form of employment.

But hey, at least Cambridge Dictionary is trying to be inclusive by capturing the essence of internet culture. Because, let's face it, nothing says "inclusive" like a dictionary that caters to the lowest common denominator of online discourse. I'm just waiting for them to add "NPC" (non-player character) as a legitimate term so we can all finally stop pretending we're having meaningful conversations on Twitter.

And yet, despite all this linguistic chaos, Cambridge Dictionary is still committed to its mission of documenting the evolution of language. You know, because words like "forever chemical" and "delulu" are totally important for our collective cultural heritage. I mean, who wouldn't want to look back on their ancestors' online shenanigans 50 years from now and cringe in embarrassment?