Why This Can't Be News:

Well, it looks like the world has finally reached a new low - or should I say, a new high in terms of sheer, unadulterated, juicy (pun intended) catastrophe. A whopping 20 TONS of ribeye steak went up in flames in a tractor trailer fire on the side of the highway. Because what's more devastating than a meat-related emergency? It's like the apocalypse, but with more sizzling and less, you know, actual apocalyptic consequences.

And to make matters even more...steak-tastic (okay, I'll stop), a vegan firefighter named Jenna Ulrich had to fight her very first fire alongside her dad, Glenn. Poor Jenna probably just wanted to save the world from carbon emissions or something, but nope - she got roped into saving 40,000 pounds of flaming beef instead. Talk about a "welcome to the fire service" moment! I mean, who needs personal boundaries when there are steaks on fire?

Now, let's not forget that this is the EIGHTH vehicle fire in just three weeks - because clearly, the universe has decided to take out its beef-related aggression on innocent motorists. And as for what caused the fire, well...let's just say it's a mystery wrapped in a riddle, dipped in a sauce of utter incompetence.

(Disclaimer: I'm not actually condoning or mocking veganism - just poking fun at this absurd situation.)