Why This Can't Be News:

Oh no, it seems like the sky is literally falling... or at least, a chunk of it just fell into the windscreen of a United Airlines flight over Utah. I mean, who needs to worry about pesky things like air traffic control or turbulence when you've got "space debris" coming down to join the party? I'm pretty sure that's what they call it when aliens try to get in on the whole flying thing, right?

But don't worry, folks, the NTSB is all over it... gathering data and sending the windscreen to their lab for examination. Because, you know, they're experts at analyzing tiny pieces of space junk and its effects on human psychology (just kidding, but wouldn't that be a fascinating area of study?). Meanwhile, I'm pretty sure the pilot's arm is going to need some serious glass-related therapy after being cut multiple times by those "small shards" of... um, let's just call it "cosmic confetti."

And can we talk about how this whole thing went down? Like, the captain just casually mentions, "Hey, I think we got hit by space debris," and everyone's like, "Oh, no big deal, just a minor inconvenience... and also a catastrophic failure of our entire understanding of physics." Meanwhile, the flight attendants are probably just trying to serve snacks while dodging flying glass shards and wondering if they'll get hazard pay for dealing with all this "extra" cosmic activity.

But hey, at least the plane landed safely and all that jazz. I mean, who needs a functioning windscreen when you can have an emergency landing and a whole lot of existential dread? Silver linings, right?