Why This Can't Be News:

Apparently, scientists at NASA's Antarctic Impulsive Transient Antenna (ANITA) project have been detecting some seriously weird radio signals coming from beneath the ice in Antarctica. Like, what even is that? It's not like they're just trying to contact aliens or anything... oh wait, maybe they are.

I mean, who wouldn't want to hide a secret underground disco party under a mile of ice? It would be the perfect spot for a clandestine rave, and I'm sure the penguins would make great bouncers. But seriously, if this is some kind of intergalactic communication device, we should totally send a team of astronauts there with some sick beats to get the party started.

Or maybe – just maybe – it's not aliens at all. Maybe it's just some really advanced (and very cold) rock music being transmitted through the ice from an underground bassist who's trying to get discovered. I mean, have you seen those documentaries about the subterranean world of fungi? Who knows what kind of weirdness is going on down there? It's like a frozen version of Pandora's Box – we don't know what we're dealing with, but it's probably not good.

Anyway, scientists are still trying to figure out what's causing these strange signals. I hope they find something exciting, like evidence of an underground rave or a secret society of penguin DJs. But if not, I'm sure they'll just attribute it to some boring scientific explanation and move on with their lives. Zzz...