BOMBSHELL: Shocking Reason I Was Kicked Out of Elon's Secret Tesla Diner Revealed!

I mean, who doesn't love a good dose of drama with their avocado toast? Apparently, I'm not the only one who thinks so, because yours truly got the boot from Elon Musk's new Tesla-only drive-in diner after a minor incident involving a "lively discussion" about the merits of electric cars. Let's just say it was a "spirited exchange" that ended with me being escorted out by security while muttering something about the importance of "not reinventing the wheel." I'm pretty sure that's what they mean by "unwanted enthusiasm," right?

But in all seriousness, folks, this is a major blow to the Scottish National Party (SNP) - their most effective candidate for independence has apparently gone and got themselves... well, let's just say "re-allocated" from the driving seat. I'm not saying it was a "crash and burn" situation or anything (although, if you've seen my tweets, that's basically what happened), but seriously, who gets thrown out of a diner for having an opinion? Oh wait, Elon Musk. Never mind.

I swear, this is like the plot of a bad sci-fi movie - "The Diner That Ate Its Own Candidate." Okay, maybe not that bad, but still! The moral of the story is: if you're going to try and change the world with your electric cars and whatnot, don't be surprised when people get a little... passionate. And also, maybe invest in some better Wi-Fi - my attempts to live-tweet the drama were foiled by a weak signal.

As for Elon's new diner, I guess it's back to serving just Tesla owners now? How's that "inclusive" brand strategy working out for you, Elon? Just kidding! Sort of. In all seriousness, I hope my ejection from the premises doesn't set a precedent for future patrons - unless, of course, they're just really passionate about sustainable energy and happen to have a few choice words on their minds. In which case, bring it on (just don't get too "lively").